Riding on the Waves of Faith

I really feel like I’ve been under a dark cloud since December. I mean, these last few months were TOUGH. I took a risk and from where I am now I can confidently say it paid off, but initially I just could not see through to the other end—all I knew is that I had to do it.

People always say believe in yourself, but it is one of the hardest things to do. Although we can be at times our own worst critics, more often than not, we are our own best protectors and we are all just trying to stay alive the best way we know how. Our bodies are sites of memory so what feels familiar is what we will do and continue to do unless we shock ourselves into new patterns. I say shock because the pain and agony of new ways of being and doing is why many don’t step outside of their comfort zone. We read comfort as joyous and right, but it most often means safe and safe does not always mean what is best. I took a leap of faith. Which if you think about it, it sounds quite dangerous. Leaping into an unknown…but I had to do it.

I think it was the waiting that was the worst for me. I literally could only lean on my faith in myself and God. This was a test of my faith and the work I had been doing on my journey. I knew this which is why I made the decision to leap, but I still needed proof that I would always land in God’s hands.

In February, relief came. I made a professional switch and I was accepted in my new path graciously and swiftly. But by that time I already knew what the acceptance confirmed, that I could trust myself and trust God. That my path is Divine not because I am special but because I am a human being in this world and we each have our own path which is proof of God’s hands on Earth. God is love but God is also beautiful and beauty is glorious, wondrous, hurtful, deep.

Beauty is all that life is.

I’ve been in a period of transition for a long time. Transitioning into a new phase in my life. I have acquired so many tools and I can’t wait for them to be revealed to me. I like where I am at. It’s scary but it also feels right. The future feels vast and life feels long. I leaped and I’m just riding on the waves of faith.

SoeSoulFull Suggestion: Toni Morrison speaking on life, survival, and wholeness at The Connecticut Forum, in conversation with Frank McCourt and moderator Juan Williams, on May 4, 2001.